


The Bones in my Garden were for You

by jelloheartsx



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Minho | Lee Know are Best Friends, Han Jisung | Han-centric, I don't even know it's just feelings man, Just to be sure, M/M, No main character dies, Prison, Serial Killer, Unhealthy Love, Unhealthy Relationships, deaths only mentioned, nothing graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:54:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29809413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jelloheartsx/pseuds/jelloheartsx
Summary: It was mostly those eyes though, the ones that everyone told him were so void of anything. Cold, cruel, uncaring.But when they looked at him they were filled with stars.Like Minho's garden was filled with bones.Stars and bones just for Jisung.or Jisung goes visit Minho in prison.-added a little art I made for it at the end :)
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 24
Kudos: 74





	The Bones in my Garden were for You

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, 
> 
> I really don't have any words for this. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy?  
> Haaaah...

This hall had become too familiar. The way his heavy steps echoed and the fifth light flickered was always the same. For months now it has been the same. Sometimes the man next to him was different, but it wasn't like he even listened anymore to the protocolled speech they gave. It was every time the very same one and he heard it so many times he might have known the words by heart.

His chest was tight, the same feeling of having his heart squeezed until it was painful never changed. He had hoped it had changed by now but it simply didn't. There wasn't anything he could do about it.

The room he entered was empty and he was guided to one of the booths that had witnessed him cry and scream and laugh and beg way too many times.

Way… too many.

Jisung finally lifted his head and his weary eyes stared at his faint reflection on the thick glass.

He was a mess. Every time he came to this place, he looked worse, felt worse. His dark hair was mussed up and dirty, his skin pale making the deep circles under his eyes look even more sunken in. He was skinnier than before, fingernails bitten until they had bled. He was becoming a shadow of who he was and he kept coming. He shouldn't be here. His parents told him that, his friends told him that, his counselor told him that.

The one who would be sitting behind the glass told him that.

But he just couldn't help it.

His body didn't move the slightest bit as he heard the door at the other side open and he watched as the chair behind the glass now had someone sitting on it. His dark tired eyes moved up to meet just as dark ones that looked like they had stars in them.

Maybe that was why he kept coming here.

Besides him seeking punishment to ease his guilt.

It was mostly those eyes though, the ones that everyone told him were so void of anything. Cold, cruel, uncaring.

But when they looked at him they were filled with stars.

Like Minho's garden was filled with bones.

Stars and bones just for Jisung.

\----

_Jisung was around his fifth drink as he dropped himself next to his best friend, groaning as he let his head rest onto the other's shoulder. God, he really didn't feel right in house parties._

_"Can we leave? I'm pretty sure I already worked through my friendship obligations of staying a couple hours."_

_Minho laughed and sipped on his beer, ruffling the younger's hair which earned him a whine._

_"Really now? It looked like you've been having fun!" The teasing smirk appeared and Jisung couldn't help but scrunch up his nose and sit up to look better at the other._

_"Fuck off. You know that I just danced with Hyunjin because he wouldn't leave me alone. Just like Changbin wouldn't let me be if I didn't participate in that stupid game." He pouted to Minho but then added wide eyes that made the older one scoff a bit._

_"Fine. Come on, get up. You're calling the uber." Minho muttered, trying to act annoyed but Jisung knew that he wasn't that fond of crowded parties either._

_They walked out of the house, Jisung trailing behind the other since Minho had the magic ability of being so handsome people stepped aside when he was near. The cool night air was welcome and Jisung shivered a little from the change of temperature. And as always he didn't have to worry about just standing there in his sleeveless shirt because soon enough his shoulders were covered with the warm jean jacket Minho had been wearing._

_He let his mouth shape a big heart shaped grin as he thanked his friend, staring just a little as the stars in Minho's eyes sparkled. And it was surely because of the alcohol he had that he commented on them._

_"Your eyes hold the whole night sky, Min. I don't know what it is but they always are filled with twinkles." He giggled as he watched Minho's face change into surprise before he looked away._

_Jisung hadn't noticed the way Minho's body tensed or how red his ears became._

_And he definitely didn't see how the fingers hidden in pockets dug hard into Minho's thighs._

_"Shut up, you sap. Call the uber." The older sighed and shook his head before looking back to Jisung. "You want to stay at my place or yours?"_

_"Oh, I actually thought about just sleeping over at Lix's. He's still fucking sick and I'm awful for saying that but he is pretty cute when all whiny, heh. Want to take care of him when he wakes up." Jisung chirped and smiled as he called their drive, making sure to put Minho's and his boyfriend's address into the app._

_"Hm."_

_Jisung blinked and looked to Minho who had given him such a lackluster reply. As their eyes locked though, he saw that catty smile and he just hummed back before focusing back on the task to get them home._

_Later, when he dropped off his best friend and continued in the car to drive to Felix's place, he didn't see how Minho didn't walk into his home._

\-----

"Hey, Sung… Here again?"

Minho's tone was soft as he spoke up. Jisung watched how he tilted his head and smiled… sadly at him. Disappointed.

It made his eyes burn and he sighed heavily, elbows leaning on the small table so he could press the heels of his hands into his eye sockets.

"W-wanted to see you…" He whispered to the other and he wished so bad the urge to cry left him. The disappointed tone always wrecked him.

He heard Minho give out a sigh but didn't dare to look up.

"Hm, wanted to see me but you're covering your eyes?" The teasing words paired with the chuckle made Jisung's insides churn and his heart ache. He gritted his teeth, feeling so much weight pressing down upon him.

"It's a bad day, hm?"

"Bad day!?" Jisung choked out a bitter laugh, his tiny body shaking with the motion. "A fucking bad day…"

"You know what I mean…"

His hands dropped and he looked to his best friend with a painful forced smile.

"Yeah, I do… But it's been a bad.. I-don't-know-how-many months, Min…" He swallowed thickly. "Fucking months..."

Silence hung over their heads as Jisung just struggled to not let the tears out.

"You ruined _everything_." He whimpered and watched Minho lower his gaze. God, Jisung wanted him to look back up, show him the stars in his eyes because they were the only thing keeping him sane.

"I did."

"I lost my job last month."

Jisung saw how Minho's shoulders tensed up at the reveal. And when he looked back up, he dared to look guilty.

"I'm sorry, Jisung, I-"

Minho let the apologies slip from his lips because he knew that since everything happened, Jisung was becoming more of a deadweight than anything else to his workplace. Sure they were first understanding, accepting the absences and leaves due to his declining mental health, but there was only so much time they would allow that to keep going.

And Jisung was _mad_ that Minho apologized and felt guilty about this. He was so fucking mad to hear him say _I'm sorry_ in this situation.

"If you're apologizing about this are you maybe ready to fucking apologize for what you did?"

Their talks always went like this. Jisung changing moods from sad to mad to relieved and back to devastated without any proper sign. He was a mess and Minho kept messing him up even more.

"I won't apologize for something I'm not sorry for, Sung…"

"Why!?" Jisung slammed his hands on the white surface and now a sob rippled through him. "W-why can't you? Why can't you just say you're fucking sorry and admit you were wrong and you ruined everything!" His voice cracked as he cried, tears blurring his sight as he vented.

Whenever something bad happened in his life he came to Minho.

He had reasons to scream and cry at the other so the frustration of having turned incompetent to work a decent job turned into the frustration of not getting the other to apologize for his crimes.

"Sung, I never said I wasn't wrong. That I didn't ruin things."

"Then w-why, Min? If everything went t-to shit, why?"

There was a long pause before Minho answered with a soft quiet tone.

"I can't regret what I did when you're sitting here with me right now. I'm selfish like that."

Oh, Jisung knew how selfish Minho was.

\-----

_Jisung was fixing up some easy toast breakfast, humming a made up tune when Felix called him._

_"Hey, Ji? Can you come here?"_

_A small frown appeared between his brows at the shaky tone his boyfriend used. He finished buttering up the slice of bread before walking into the living room, wondering what it was about._

_"Everything alright, Lix? You'r-"_

_"Just.. watch? It's kind of scary but I… I think it is best if you know because you fit the… the profile." His boyfriend muttered worriedly, shifting on the couch to give Jisung some space to sit._

_Honestly, Jisung was a bit confused but he looked at the television and caught up that it was the news channel._

_He tensed up though as the reporter stood in front of a taped up house, bringing them the information that police was now confirming that they were dealing with a serial killer._

_During the past months there had been a few odd murders. Not much was known to the public besides the fact that bones were taken out of the strangled victim's body. Until today it seemed because police decided it was relevant to mention the target profile._

_"-The victims are all around 20-30 years old. All males of a small slender builts. All of them have a rather round face with soft young looking features. Beside that, whoever responsible goes after brunets-"_

_Jisung stared at the pictures of the victims from when they were still alive and a cold shiver ran down his spine as he saw what Felix meant. He had similar looks to these men._

_"Maybe it's best if you stay here? Apparently this killer invades homes but the guys all lived alone. I'm kind of terrified of thinking about you alone at your place."_

_"Y-you're right… Uh, I'll-...I'll call Min and see if he can help me pack stuff and get everything here."_

_Felix smiled, worry still lingering on his face but he nodded._

_"Sounds good. Pretty sure if someone tried to kill you, Minho wouldn't hesitate to kill them first." He tried to joke a little, knowing how strong his boyfriend's friendship was._

_And Jisung chuckled because that was true._

_Minho always made sure he was safe._

\-----

Jisung had quieted down from the sobs, his eyes puffy and rubbed red from how many times he wiped his tears with his sleeves. Minho sat quietly at the other side, waiting for his best friend to recover from the emotional outburst.

With a few deep breaths, the rollercoaster ride continues and the younger man asks quietly.

"H-how are things?" He glanced to Minho, who just hummed and shrugged.

"Same as always. Been reading a lot." He at least seemed to hesitate a bit before adding. "Missing you too."

Jisung's throat was closed with a lump and he refused to shed more tears. He looked down to his hands, fidgeting before reaching out and pressing a couple fingers against the cool glass. His brows titled up in a bittersweet longing as he saw fingers pressing at the other side. They were so close but so far… So so far…

Jisung would most likely never be able to touch Minho again.

"You have no right to miss me when you ruined us, Min…" Jisung whispered and looked into the dark starry eyes as the other didn't didn't say anything.

The clock kept ticking and they both knew their time was limited, but even knowing that they allowed themselves to just stay in silence for a bit, fingers against glass, eyes locked after Jisung's accusation.

"I know, but I can't help it." Again Minho spoke with a soft tone, his voice forcing Jisung's shoulder to relax. Minho had always been there to soothe his pains away, to calm him down. Usually he would hold his hand but that was impossible right now.

Their fingers just kept pressed against the glass.

"I miss you too… so much… so so much" The words came out in a small whisper that he wasn't even sure if he said it out loud.

\--------

_Jisung felt incredibly small in the interrogation room. He looked around, lips pressing together anxiously as he stared into the small camera recording everything he did._

_They had sat him down here and left him to do whatever, abandoning him to the mercy of his racing thoughts and overwhelming worry. He knew he wasn't in any risk, the officers had more than enough tried to reassure him but he was told it had to do with Minho. He was worried about his friend, he hadn't been able to contact the other when he was actually dragged to the station._

_When shit was going down, Minho was always the one he called after all._

_He flinched when the door opened and a middle aged man approached with a plastic cup with coffee._

_"Han Jisung, right?"_

_"Y-yes." He answered quietly, eyes scanning - or trying to - over the file the officer brought with him._

_"I want to remind you that you have nothing to worry about, you're not in any trouble." The man started and Jisung gave an unsure nod, showing he was aware of such. "You're here because we have some questions about Lee Minho."_

_"Uhm, yes… I've been told but-ah… What is this about? Is he in trouble?" He asked quietly, hoping that it wasn't as serious as… the situation was trying to let him know._

_"We will let you know what happened, but-" Was Jisung seeing pity in the officer's face? " - we are aware that you two have a close relationship so I just want to ask some questions first."_

_Jisung felt uneasy, not really knowing if he could just act out and demand to know what was up. Not trusting his voice, he just nodded._

_"What is exactly your relationship with Lee Minho?"_

_"We are best friends. Have been since we were children."_

_"Have you two ever been romantically involved?"_

_"N-no. We haven't" Jisung frowned at the question, shifting uncomfortably._

_"Has there never been an instance where you two were closer than friends?"_

_"No. Uhm, we really are just best friends. I-I have a boyfriend."_

_The officer brushed some papers of the file and nodded._

_"Lee Felix, if I'm not mistaken."_

_"C-correct…." He swallowed thickly, wondering each second more what this was about._

_"Has Lee Minho ever been violent towards you?"_

_Jisung's heart sank. Not because of the answer he had for the question, but because it came in a situation like this. His anxious brain didn't give him rest, his eyes showing his confusion._

_"Mr. Han, has he been violent?"_

_"N-no. He's never been violent, Minho is the opposite of violent." He stuttered out despite his efforts to keep a firm voice._

_"Are you sure? Has your boyfriend ever commented on Lee Minho being hostile towards him?"_

_"Never. Minho and Felix are friends too." He fiddled with the sleeve of his hoodie. Maybe calling them friends was a stretch, but they got along enough. There had never been bad blood between the two, he just knew that Minho had a hard time getting really close to others. Jisung had always been the exception._

_These questions were unnerving. Making him feel confused and bothered. As if the officer was digging up things without even knowing what he was looking for. Jisung felt like deep parts of him he had hidden from the world and himself were coming into light._

_"C-can I please know what this is about? Your questions aren't making any sense to me…"_

_Jisung has never been above begging and he just wanted to let into what was happening. Worry corroded his insides and his head felt about to explode. He needed to know before he crawled into himself and started dissociating from stress. The discomfort was becoming too much and he attempted to bring the conversation away from his love life._

_Again, the man had looked at him with pity, as if he was sorry. His thick fingers tugged a a sheet out, not showing it to Jisung yet._

_"Lee Minho is suspected to have killed seven young men during this past year. We have found enough evidence in his garden."_

_Now the officer slid a printed photograph for him to look at._

_"We found human bones and… Well, you better look at what he did."_

_Jisung could only hear static as the officer kept talking. His face was drained of any color as he stared at the bleached bone that had been dug up from the dirt. He saw a crumpled lily at the edge of the photo, mouth going dry because Minho's garden was for some reason filled with lillies._

_It took him a second to see that there was something odd about the bone and his shaky fingers reached for the picture so he could pick it up and look at it better._

_And then the world went black._

\----------  
Confessing that they missed each other wasn't new but it was always painful. It tasted like cold bitter coffee, the kind that was too strong to be enjoyable and harmful for your stomach but needed if you wanted to keep your life going.

Jisung had to hear Minho say he missed him so it was justifiable that he missed him as well.

Their time was running out and today's visit was leaving him fruitless and exhausted. It made him wonder what else he would lose in his life when he stepped out of this room. What else would Minho ruin.

There was a twisted satisfaction in Jisung when he thought that despite everything at least he would still have this. He would still have Minho sitting at the other side of the glass making his life miserable but still make him feel less guilty about something that wasn't even his fault.

The pads of his fingers pressed so hard against the glass that they became white. His head was spiralling to god knows where, he didn't even notice how his breathing was becoming more shallow.

"Ask me again." Minho was the other to break the silence, leaning closer. "Ask me again about what you wanted to know about the things in my garden."

Jisung went ice cold and his lips parted in utter confusion.

Nobody besides Minho himself and some investigators knew the details of all the findings. Jisung had only known a specific one and it had done enough damage to him.

But his heart was beating faster because he wanted to know. Needed to know. Since everything else in his life burst into flames and only Minho's starry eyes were keeping him sane. He had no one left but Minho by now.

\--------

_"If you step into that prison again, I'm leaving you."_

_Felix's words weren't a surprise to Jisung, they were actually expected._

_His boyfriend was an angel, he had the patience and understanding of a saint but Jisung had been testing it for the past 5 months. They both knew that their relationship was slowly crumbling, unspoken words clogged their throats and the bond they had strained. It was stretched thin and it wasn't Felix's fault._

_Felix was the sweetest person and Jisung didn't deserve him. Didn't deserve counting his freckles, didn't deserve sobbing into his shoulder until he was numb._

_Jisung didn't deserve Felix simply because the boy deserved the world and someone who only thought of him._

_And Jisung's head was filled with Minho._

_However, Jisung was selfish, he didn't want his life to change anymore so he attempted to stretch things even more._

_"Lix, please… I just, he's my best friend..."_

_"He's a murderer! A killer, Jisung! He fucking killed people who looked like you, don't you see how sick this is?"_

_He had no argument, he never did. Felix was right so he could only look down to his feet._

_"Jisung, this is so fucked up… You have to let him go, he is locked up for life, he wasn't a friend, you shouldn't even think of him as a friend after everything! Don't you see how this is messing you up? Please, you have to stop this, this isn't healthy!"_

_How dare he make his sweet gentle boyfriend beg for him to see the truth? How dare he make him submit himself to all of this._

_"H-he's..."_

_"Please, Sung… Please, stop hurting yourself like this and let this go."_

_Jisung chewed on his bottom lip, nervous and he wished he was torn. Felix could see he wasn't._

_"Why are you doing this to yourself? What is he telling you that makes you keep going bac-GOD! I should've known so weird shit would happen because of him. I knew the second I looked at him, everyone was right, he had that cold void look, but I thought because he was friends with you that he wasn't so weird!"_

_His fingers trembled and Jisung had to hold himself back to not yell at Felix to take those words back. He should've reached out to console Felix, to wipe the tears that slipped from his eyes and clouded the stars on his cheeks._

_The stars that didn't shine and twinkle like the ones in his best friend's eyes._

_Grabbing his keys, he had nothing to add to Felix's outburst, he knew he would spew cruel unfair words towards this blessing that was the other young man._

_"Jisung, I'm not fucking bluffing. Don't go."_

_The metal of the door handle was cool in his hands as he pressed it down._

_"I'm sorry."_

_In the end, whatever he stretched thin had to snap, leaving dust and ashes as he let another thing in his life be consumed in the fire of his own inability to let go of Minho._

\--------

"W-what… What were the things you carved into the bones?"

The question had been asked before. He had actually asked it a few times already but Minho had never opened up about them. All the times he just shrugged and told Jisung that he was better off not knowing since the one he knew of already put him through a lot.

He didn't know what made Minho change his mind to tell him now what the carved messages on the bones were. As he looked into starry eyes though, he saw that something big changed again.

But it wasn't a change in Minho.

_"Please only look at me, Hannie."_

Jisung froze at the words he never heard but only read. That was the carving he had seen in the interrogation room. The one that made him black out and drop cold from shock.

_"Am I not enough for you, Hannie?"_

His brows tilted up, eyes not leaving Minho's.

_"Hold my hand, Hannie."_

His chest felt tight but his neck started feeling hot.

_"Please be mine, Hannie."_

Now it wasn't only his neck, but his cheeks and ears felt hot and it was becoming harder to keep looking at the other.

_"Kiss me, Hannie."_

His heart was definitely beating loud enough for Minho to hear. His whole hand pressed against the glass as he hung his head, shoulders starting to shake.

_"Please love me, Hannie."_

A sob choked out of his as he started crying again, his lips moving but his voice didn't come out. He wanted to beg for Minho to not say out loud what he was so afraid of hearing, but he had no means to stop him.

_"I love you, Hannie."_

Jisung wailed.

It was painful and agonizingly loud, he didn't even know when he stood up and started banging against the glass as if he could break it. He didn't hear a thing anymore, he only saw how Minho got up himself and pressed both his hands against the clear surface and maybe it was something Jisung made up in his head but he thought he saw the starry eyes sparkling more than usual.

Jisung could only cry, words being too much for the convoluted mess of feelings storming in him. He kept using all his strength against the glass until he had to trash against arms wrapping around him and dragging him away from his _best friend._

He screamed to be let go, for them to let him touch Minho who was being just as much dragged away. Jisung fought with all the energy his weak body could muster, but he had nothing against the officers.

Agonizing sounds kept coming out of him as he was dragged along the familiar hall that had always been the same. With the same flickering with light and the same echoes.

But this time, Jisung was different. He had changed.

Realization came that he had been mourning all along.

Mourning for a love he hadn't been ready for before and now he came too late.

Because Minho's eyes were filled with stars and his garden filled with bones.

But Jisung had missed the most important thing which was that Minho was filled with love.

Love for Jisung.

And Jisung was filled with love for Minho.

It overflowed and choked him, he didn't know what to do with it when Minho was locked up and far away from him.

This love was too much, it was unbearable. He didn't understand how Minho had survived so long with this overwhelming feeling in him. It was a strange kind of love. It was raging and completely out of control. It was so staggering that it made him suddenly understand the stars and bones.

His whole body shook with the harrowing powerlessness to keep it at bay.

Jisung didn't know what to do with it.

Nothing came up in his head beside the thought that he had to suffocate it.

Suffocate it so the stars in his eyes would darken and no bones appeared in his garden.

_Stars and bones just for Minho._

**Author's Note:**

> So that was it...
> 
> WELL, Leave a comment if you liked it or come follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/jellowrites)!  
> You're allowed to come scream at me if you want fhjkdsal


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